


A Hundred Children's Graves

by lilly_of_the_stars



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki Haruno Sakura, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anko is a badass sensei, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Character Death, F/M, Good Akatsuki (Naruto), Haruno Sakura-centric, Lots of dead people, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Ninjas - Freeform, Sakura may have multiple personality disorder, Strong Haruno Sakura, and murder too, because duh, enough tears to fill the ocean, how many times do i gotta say that people will die, lots of dead children, lots of death in general, swearing is a thing too, tragically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23650222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilly_of_the_stars/pseuds/lilly_of_the_stars
Summary: Haruno Sakura buried a hundred and thirteen children during the mission to Wave, and that's what changes everything.Adopted by Aisranhou
Relationships: Akatsuki (Naruto) & Haruno Sakura, Gai-han | Team Guy & Haruno Sakura, Haruno Sakura & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Haruno Sakura & Mitarashi Anko, Haruno Sakura/Original Male Character(s), Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi
Comments: 160
Kudos: 617
Collections: Real Good Shit, Strong BAMF Sakura





	1. Dirt and Bodies

Haruno Sakura is not a useless kunoichi! She isn't! She was top of her class, she isn't useless! Just because she isn't that strong or she doesn't have all that big of chakra stores, doesn't mean she's useless... right?

The pink-haired kunoichi regards these thoughts as she watches the bridge-builder and his men work the planks and steel into a bridge that would support carts of goods and people.

She... isn't useless. Yeah, that's right, she's a perfectly capable, smart, top-of-the-class kunoichi. 

_But,_ the part of her brain that wasn't the demure, perfect kunoichi she wanted to be sneered, _what did you do to contribute aside from standing there and hold a kunai in front of the drunkard of a client you have?_

She shifts on the pillar she'd scaled with the new tree-walking technique Kakashi had shown them.

She had contributed. She protected the client! Just like the shinobi rules commanded. Protect the client, follow the mission.

_What would you do if that mist-nin rushed the client and the boys were trapped? Fend off his larger-than-your-whole-body sword with a kunai?_ And that not-so-little voice cackled before her next suggestion, _add a few shuriken in there? Maybe the explosive tag you only brought one of?_

Her teeth latch onto her lip, biting down with ferocity. No, no, she was a good kunoichi, good at her job, so good in fact that Kakashi assigned her to guard the client.

Before that not-so-little voice could speak again and by consequence cause her more of a headache she plops down from the pillar. Deciding walking the perimeter of the bridge would be good she travels back to where the bridge began and shuffles up one side, turns to cross to the other side at the very edge of the bridge, and shuffles down the other side. She repeats this until a few hours past noon when Tazuna calls her back so they could begin making the journey back to his house.

Before that, however, they make a detour to the market and this is when Sakura realizes the extent of the poverty in Wave Country. Children and adults alike line the streets, faces gaunt and sallow and skin a sickly pale. She spies a group of kids hovering over something and as one shift she caught sight of a ghastly child who was definitely not breathing.

Bile rose in her throat and she bit her lip as she struggled to hold it in.

"Uh, Tazuna-san?" Sakura squeaks as the both of them enter a shop that stored vegetables that Konoha would have thrown out without a second thought, and they charged them at a higher price, too, "Is it... is it okay if I go do something while you're shopping?"

Tazuna grunts, "Be quick, gaki, you're supposed to be protecting me."

With a quick "yes, sir!" Sakura scuttles over to the dead child whom's body the others were attempting to carry. However, the other children were nothing more than skin and bones and even five of them could barely succeed in the attempt.

She approaches slowly and the group peers her way, fear and hesitance plastered on their faces. The leader, presumably, steps up. It was a boy with sallow cheeks and pale skin like the rest, with eyes a sharp, steel grey and black hair that took a brown hue from the dirt and grime.

"Whaddya wan'," the boy questions, eyeing her clean clothes and bright, clean hair, "We don' got nothin' for ya."

"I-I don't mean any harm," her voice is quiet, a little subdued, "I just wanted to help."

The kids' exchange suspicious and contemplating glances to each other and Sakura suspects they have a whole conversation within those quick looks, "I'm here with my team from Konoha, we were commissioned to protect Tazuna-san. I, uh, saw you guys struggling and I just wanted to help, I guess." She doesn't say that it was her morbid curiosity that drew her here, that her stomach roils with the sight of the dead child being carried away by children who teetered on the edge between joining him and staying to live another day.

"We 'ere movin' him to ta bury grounds," the black-haired child explains after a moment, his steel-gray eyes study her every move, "We move all us who don' make it th're."

"How - how many is there?" the pink-haired kunoichi squeaks, and her mortification isn't at all concealed as it should, as the rules say it should. Despite his malformed sentences, the child sounds old, older than any child his age should.

"Dunno," the child answers, almost like it was the most natural thing in the world, and that was what disturbed her the most, "Lost count."

* * *

Sakura returns to Tazuna's house with an odd, subdued look to her, a flicker of her eyes that was different than before. Her normally immaculate hands were covered with dirt, along with her favorite red qipao dress. Neither Naruto nor Sasuke were seated at the table, most likely still training.

Kakashi, however, was very much present. He never looked up from his dirty orange book but still seemed to know she was there. She doesn't know how he does it, but she also doesn't know how he can read porn in public without any (visible) embarrassment.

"Welcome back, Sakura-chan," Kakashi greets dryly, and right then he did look up, "Got a little dirty from just guarding the bridge, ne?"

Sakura shook her head once, "No," then twice, "No, I took a detour."

Kakashi made a little humming noise from the back of his throat and Sakura got the distinct feeling he was unsatisfied with her response.

But she wasn't ready to talk about it not yet.

_(Twenty graves but a hundred bodies, dirty fingers from digging and digging and digging, a hundred names and she remembers each one, crudely cut planks of wood, she's sorry she has nothing better, one dies when they're working, she dieted while these children starved to death, not all the children died from hunger, there are ones with stabs and missing limbs-)_

She's not ready to talk but she will always remember.

Tsunami, Tazuna's daughter, leads her away to a small washroom. The water runs cold but she is thankful to get the grime and dirt. When she is done she changes into a pair of extra clothes and Sakura regrets not bringing something to work in.

She helps Tsunami with dinner. Kakashi, she suspects, knows something is wrong but stays true to his nature and says nothing.

She is thankful, but at the same time, wishes someone would ask.

Night comes quick and she falls asleep but it is restless and fitful.

She still has eighty more graves.


	2. Love and Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely blown away by the support chapter 1 has gotten. I felt it sub-par compared to other fics of this sort so I am absolutely thrilled to have this support. I began on Wattpad which is not solely fanfiction and actually takes time to get even one view. Here, I had over 100 hits when I wrote this. I'm crying.
> 
> Anyway, sould I do longer chapters? I'm currently doing about 1k word per chapter. Tell me about your preferences.

Water drops from the sky slowly at first, the slightest drizzle. She doesn't shed tears. Her body aches from physical exertion and the dirt and grime cling to her skin like a, particularly, nasty stain. The rain picks up, just ever so slightly.

One hundred and thirteen.

That's how many are dead and - fuck she wants to punch something so bad right now.

Bastards. Dirty, worthless, child-killing bastards.

("'M Takashima Kazumi," the little black-haired boy told her the first day, "Wha's your name, nēchan?")

If she looked too much she could see blood on her skin - in the cracks and crevices - that wasn't hers.

Shaky exhale. The rain picked up speed again.

(Retched, wet coughs permeated the air. A black-haired boy and a pink-haired girl. A chaste kiss. A boy's last wish to die on his own terms. A girl's grief-stricken tears as she slits the throat of the boy she came to love.)

Tremors rack her body like tiny earthquakes. She falls to her knees in front of a gravestone. This one is special, the stone grave marker is the only one of its kind in the cemetery, a sharp contrast from the wooden slabs that mark the rest.

This is the only one she truly weeps for.

("You're not annoying Sakura," he mumbles in her ear, "And anyone who thinks you are aren't worth your time of day.")

The rain pours in torrents now and only then does she trudge back to Tazuna's house.

Kakashi doesn't question her anymore and she isn't naïve enough to suppose he hadn't followed her one day.

Surprisingly, Kakashi decided to grace her with his words today.

"Maa, Sakura-chan, you'll be guarding the bridge builder tomorrow," and, as an afterthought, he added, "Sasuke and maybe Naruto will be joining us."

"Hai, sensei," Sakura mumbled, seeing but at the same time not seeing. Then, without a glance back, she stumbled into her room.

Sasuke and Naruto. She hadn't seen then since that first day. She got out before them and was sleeping before they ever got home; not that it was anything impressive, the boys didn't get up until the sun was very much risen and got home long after nightfall.

She wondered how the bridge looked now. She hadn't seen it since that first day, either. Kakashi, she suspected at the beginning, had only sent her to the bridge to get her out of his hair while he observed the boys. This was only confirmed when she requested to do something other than the bridge, something personal in-town and he gave his assent with little qualms.

She wasn't special. Sasuke and Naruto were powerhouses, and she... she was just plain old Haruno Sakura.

("People like me an' you aren't born with anythin' special," Kazumi had murmured as they laid another fallen in their tomb, and this was one of the many times she is reminded that despite looking her age and his less-than-perfect speech, he was much wiser than her, "It's people like us who gotta work for it.")

And she was determined to change that, even if it was the last thing she did.

* * *

It was the fifth day, and the last thirteen graves had been completed.

Kazumi stood with her, shoulders brushing her own.

"Thank you," Kazumi murmured in that soft voice of his, "I-"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off by wet coughs that sprayed blood on the ground.

"Kazumi..."

"Sakura," he grabbed her hands once he had stood once more, "Don' worry about me, 'kay?"

"But-"

"We both know 'm gonna go soon," he muttered, "At least I got to seem 'em properly put to rest."

Silence, but only for a few moments.

"Tell me," Sakura suddenly demanded, "Everything. About you and your life. I want to know it all."

Kazumi looked at her for a long moment before beginning, "Mum and Pap lived with us - my sister and I - 'til I seven. They left after t'at, somewhere away from the village.

"It was jus' me and Mio-nēchan. We were 'ungry but okay. I had plans, big ones. I was gonna grow up an' get Mio-nēchan and me away from 'ere, go some'ere small but cozy. Maybe in the country, that sounded nice. Away from the fish and the sea and the memories.

"Then Gato hit," his eyes darkened, "We 'ere trapped here, then. And then the lower and middle class started goin' 'ungry. They fed us from time to time, but now there was no food and the others started droppin' like flies.

"We started pilin' 'em up 'ere, hopin' to give 'em somethin' after the bridge was built.

"But you came along," his voice lightened and his eyes softened as he turned them in her, "With clean clothes and clean pink hair, and then you gave us somethin' when ev'ryone was giving us nothin'. You gave us what little you had then gave more.

"I don' know what you thought then, but we 'ere lucky you chose whatever you did," both had sat in the grass at some point, leaning on each other. She was so happy then, and her love for Sasuke felt so dull compared to this.

"My las' wish is that you visit me and that you take care of Mio-nēchan, get her out of 'ere if you can," then he looked so guilty before his next request, "I... I wanna die on my own terms. So, please, let me be selfish."

"Wha-"

A chaste kiss cut her words off, and then he leaned in to murmur next to her ear.

"Sakura, I want you to be the one ta kill me."

* * *

When Sakura saw Sasuke that morning she was startled. She didn't know when he had started to look less like the ever-yearned-for Sasuke-kun and more like just her dark-haired teammate who never paid her any mind. She, for a brief moment, saw a ghost. Same black hair, same pale face, but the similarities ended there. Sasuke's eyes were little black abysses, and Kazumi's eyes reminded her of a brand new sword. Sasuke's face had begun to shape in a way that suggested the beginnings of puberty, but Kazumi had the soft chub of youth left on his face.

No, Sasuke wasn't Kazumi, not in his looks or personality. He would never love her, much less care for her in the ways she had been shown in the last week.

So Sakura clenched her jaw and turned the other way without so much as a hello.

Kakashi stared at his cute little genin and internally questioned what had happened to his pink-haired kunoichi to make her exhibit such behavior.

He wondered darky if he had already failed another person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some people will say that Sakura and Kazumi falling in love at twelve and ten respectively (Kazumi was ten) is much too early, and, in most cases, I would agree with that. I do however have three reasons.
> 
> 1) Kazumi is a lot more mature than more ten-year-olds, due to being both elder brother and guardian of his sister at such a young age. This, along with the fact that I believe Naruto characters to be ahead of their age, gives them a little headstart for most their age.
> 
> 2) Kazumi and Sakura hadn't ever done anything serious and nothing serious was supposed to ever happen. While I couldn't classify it as child's love, it was more of a bond, one that in a normal circumstance would have ended in really good friendship or a relationship later.
> 
> 3) Fiction is fiction. Give me some leeway people.
> 
> Anyway, I hope that clears that up. Thank you for all the support


	3. Crazy Sensei and Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said 3k-5k words but I wanted to save the chūnin exams for the next chapter. It is double the length though.

She hadn't said much to either boy. Naruto, as expected, had no reservations about questioning what happened in a very loud manner. She supplied him with non-answers and little white lies that deterred him easily enough.

Sasuke said nothing, as always. It wasn't in him to show any interest in what she said or did. 

Kakashi was, for the most part, the same, if not a little more observant.

She sighed.

Naruto was engaging in some sort of... something with the little boy named Inari. She supposed he was okay, except for before, when he had been awfully bratty for a kid who wasn't dead or dying.

She didn't hate the kid, she just didn't like him much either.

"Sak'ra-nē?"

"What is it, Mio-chan?" Sakura hummed, staring at the boys' backs from her position further up the bridge.

"You come back to visit?" the black-haired girl asked (her voice sounded like him, her hair was like his, her eyes-).

"Of course," Sakura murmured, dropping to her knees to get on the same level as the little girl (only six), "And someday I'll come and take you with me, you can live in Konohagakure with me."

Her face was so bright with hope it hurt, "I be ninja li'e Sak'ra-nē?"

"I... if you want."

"Yay!" her little smile made her want to cry; she didn't know how someone who lived in such dismal conditions could be so happy.

A hand landed on her head and she peered up to see her silver-haired sensei looking down at her, "Maa, maa, time to go, Sakura-chan."

"Hai, sensei."

Kakashi ambled off and Sakura offered the girl a tiny smile. She responded with a large one of her own before running off, waving her little hands as she went.

The pink-haired kunoichi stared at where the girl had run off for a few moments before heaving herself upwards and dusting off her clothes.

"Make a new friend, Sakura-chan?" Kakashi queried as Sakura caught up to the rest of her team.

"Yeah," she murmured, "Something like that."

* * *

"I'm not very good," Sakura had whispered on the third day, "All I'm good for is being a paper-pusher ninja."

"Wha' makes you say that?"

"I can't do anything to help. I stare at people's backs and pretend I'm doing something when I stand in front of the client," that little monster of self-hate reared its ugly head, "Why can't I just- why can't I be something worth noticing?"

"You're kinda li'e me, Sakura," Kazumi said after a beat of silence, "Unless we give our all we jus' ain't mentioning. I've lost my all, Sakura, don't lose yours."

"But-"

"For me, 'kay?" he smiled at her, "You've got more all to give than I ever had."

Another beat of silence, "Okay, for you."

* * *

The first thing they did when they arrived at Konoha was head to the Hokage tower for a debriefing.

She didn't say much. Naruto and Sasuke did most of the talking. She suspected Kakashi would stay behind to give the real report, Naruto's way was the antithesis of professional.

Not that she cared, the less talking she had to do the better.

The Hokage had asked her what she thought, once, but she supplied that anything she had to say had already been said (lie) and that she spent the period in between the boys' training doing something personal in town (which the Hokage responded to with a nod; he didn't suspect a genin to be doing anything that could endanger the mission or influence it in any way).

Kakashi would tell him what he'd seen regardless.

She fled the room as soon as they were dismissed.

She decided that, once home, she would dump her mission gear in her room and head straight for the bathhouses. Preferably one with very few people.

And so she did just that.

* * *

She hummed a content sound as she sunk into the women's bath. She was the only one her age in the bath, a woman with purple eyes and a few old obaa-chans scattered about. She sunk further as her eyes drifted to the purple-haired woman's chest. 

She would be lying if she said she wasn't envious, her boobs were as flat as pancakes.

"Whatcha doing here, kid?" the voluptuous woman asked, leaning back and exposing her figure, "Don't see many kids your age lurking around in bathhouses."

She blubbered something unintelligible from under the water.

A harsh slap to the back made her choke on the water of the bath and she brought herself to the surface to suck in the precious oxygen.

The purple-haired woman laughed at her maniacally, "Ha! Learn to respond to someone when they talk to you!"

She glared balefully at the evil she-devil before her.

"Mission went wrong," Sakura muttered, now scowling at the water.

"Oh, you're a kunoichi, squirt? Don't look like one too me."

"Don't feel like one either," her scowl grew darker, "I'm about as useful as a civilian."

"Hmm," the woman hummed, squinting hard at her, "Who's your sensei, kid?"

"Hatake Kakashi." 

"Damn," Anko whistled, "They put him in charge of training a bunch of greenies? Fuck, kid, what's he made you do so far?"

"Uh," Sakura faltered as her brain processed the request, "Tree-walking?"

Anko squawked in outrage, throwing her hands in the air, "Ya mean they didn't teach you that in the Academy! What, you gonna tell me that you don't know how to water-walk next?"

She sank a little further into the bath, "I, uh, know the theory."

And that's the day Sakura acquired a new sensei by the name of Mitarashi Anko.

* * *

Three days of mandatory rest proceeded any mission that experienced an increase in rank.

Naruto spent those days spending all the money he earned on ramen.

Sasuke spent those days resting (as they were told to do).

Sakura spent those days being driven into the ground and coming to be very acquainted with the hospital staff.

Anko was a rough teacher. She knew what she was doing, no doubt about that, but her regime was harsh on every part of her and Anko exploited and bolstered her weaknesses and strengths respectively.

On day three she realized she needed a change of outfit.

Anko happily jumped on the idea, immediately dragging her pink-haired student to her favorite store.

It was a nondescript building in the shinobi sector of Konoha that, if alone, Sakura would have never thought to enter.

Inside it was filled to the brim with different articles of clothing from the standard shinobi sandals to colorful hitai-ates.

After explaining that no, she was not going to dress in a mesh suit, and no, she was also not going to dress like a mini-Anko but yes, she could get something similar if it made her happy, both Anko and Sakura were happy and ready to start doing through the racks of clothes.

Sakura outright refused to wear the full mesh suit that left nothing to the imagination. Anko pouted like a child when Sakura rejected it.

Sakura did agree, however, to don the short skirt and coat her mentor wore. The skirt she chose to be a dark navy with a white belt, and the overcoat she chose to be a matching navy that had short sleeves instead of long. Sakura cut her qipao dress down to perform as a shirt instead and put that with the outfit.

With a final glance over in the mirror, she stepped out and presented herself to her mentor.

With a hard slap on the back that the pink-haired girl was getting used to she exclaimed, "Now you're looking like a kunoichi, kid!"

"Thanks, Anko-sensei," Sakura choked out between coughs.

"Now mush, kid! We've got some training to do!"

Sakura let a tortured moan slip between her lips.

* * *

"Woah! Why'd you get a new outfit, Sakura-chan?" Naruto excitedly questioned as the pink-haired girl entered Training Ground 3.

"I just needed a change, I guess," Sakura replied, smiling a tiny smile at the blonde, "Something better for training."

"That's smart, Sakura-chan! But you're always smart and-" 

At this point, Sakura tuned Naruto out. She hopped up and settled on a thick branch of the tree in front of her. She suspected Kakashi wouldn't show up for at least an hour. Better than busting into her room with an air horn like a certain purple-haired kunoichi.

Sakura shivered at the memory(s). It had been so difficult to explain to her very much civilian parents.

So, with a sigh, the pink-haired girl settled into the tree branch.

"It's not nice to not greet people when they arrive, Sakura-chan."

The rosette jumped and flailed her arms, almost falling off the tree branch but barely catching herself.

She scowled at her silver-haired sensei who crouched on the branch above her, smiling with that irritating smile thing he did with his eye (she was sure her eye couldn't do that).

"That was mean, sensei! What if Sakura-chan fell?"

"Well, then we're certainly glad she didn't."

Sakura muttered something about "crazy sensei" and how she "should have guessed they had similarities" as she hopped off the branch and brushed other dirt off her apparel.

"Now that everyone's awake," Sakura's scowl got darker, "Let's head to the mission desk and get some D-ranks, ne?"

All there genin groaned.

* * *

The following D-ranks were disasters. Naruto had continually tried to one-up Sasuke and said ravenette was not helping at all. Sakura looked up towards the sky, hoping against all hope that they could get along.

_("That was a bad team from ta start," Kazumi had told her on the second day. She had explained her team situation when he had asked what they were like. She answered truthfully, her own faults and all, "It migh' seem to balance out but y'ur personalities conflict too much, makes teamwork a big feat.")_

She froze for only a second before continuing as nothing had happened (but something had and that something haunts her day and night with no end).

She decided to finally take Naruto up on that offer to Ichiraku's Ramen but made sure it was clear it wasn't a romantic date.

He took it in good sport, just happy for companionship (it made her heart ache at his she'd treated him, how the world treated him).

They ran into a group of _(healthy)_ kids, or more like they followed her and Naruto around until he got fed up enough to expose them.

They were cute, a few years younger than them and obviously still in the Academy. They worshipped the ground Naruto walked on and even donned goggles similar to the one the blonde wore during the Academy.

She somehow got roped into playing ninja (she has a soft spot for children). They ran through the streets and for a moment Sakura forgot about any graves or dead children or crazy sensei.

That is until they ran into a sand-nin who looked ready to beat up Konohamaru just for bumping into him.

They sure were treading rocky ground.

"You should know better than to start fights with village residents in a foreign village," Sakura stepped up in with an aura of faux-calm, "Sunagakure has a shaky alliance with Konohagakure as it is. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be the start of a war between Konohagakure and Sunagakure by beating up the Sandaime Hokage's grandson."

That sure threw that sand-nin for a loop. The boy who held Konohamaru by his collar dropped the boy with a glare.

"I'm ashamed of you," a gravelly voice announced. Sakura turned to see Sasuke and a redhead in a tree adjacent to the dirt path. Sasuke seemed to have not seen him either as he turned to the boy with wide eyes.

The boy dissolved into sand before appearing behind the other sand-nin with a dark look.

He reeked of death.

Sakura stepped back and pulled a frozen Konohamaru behind her.

"B-but Gaara-"

"Shut up or I'll kill you."

 _Shit._ He wasn't joking and the tiniest amount of killing intent leaked from him.

He turned toward them, "I apologize for my siblings."

"I-" she paused, gathering her wits, "I suggest you leave before I report anyone to the Hokage."

The redhead dipped his head and then he began to leave, his siblings close after.

She let out a breath as Naruto blabbered on about how cool she'd acted.

"Hey Naruto, I'm going have to postpone our trip to Ichiraku's," at his frown she quickly added, "I need to do something right now. Maybe later?"

"Sure, Sakura-chan!"

The pink-haired girl glanced up to see Sasuke staring at her intently. She turned and ignored him.

She had some training to do.

* * *

There were three places Anko liked to send her for training. The library, the southeast lake, and Training Ground 44.

Today, Anko met her at the southeast lake, also known as Dancing Waters Lake. As pretty as the name sounded, the lake was known for its raging currents that came out of absolutely nowhere.

"Alright, pipsqueak, they've decided I should proctor the second round in the upcoming chūnin exam. As a result, they said I couldn't train you because of some dumb shit I wasn't listening to. So, I called in a few favors and found you the perfect sensei to train you up for the exam!"

Anko laughed in a way that suggested the new sensei was going to probably be her end.

"HELLO, YOUTHFUL LOTUS BLOSSOM! I AM MAITO GAI, KONOHA'S BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST!"

Sakura was sure this man was going to be her end.

* * *

If Sakura thought Anko ran her into the ground, Gai practically buried her.

She met his team a few times. Gai opted for not training them together as they would compete with each other soon enough and that "IT WILL BE A BEAUTIFUL BATTLE OF YOUTHFULNESS!"

Sakura hoped it never came to that. She would stick to fists, thank you very much.

"Faster Sakura!"

"Sorry, Gai-sensei!"

They finished their second lap around the village when Sakura collapsed.

A small moan of pain escaped Sakura as she inhaled a face full of dirt.

"Ah! Sakura!"

"Don't-" she hacked out a cough, "Worry about me, Gai-sensei. I'll just take a nap down here."

"Nonsense! The power of youth prevails!"

Gai carried Sakura in his arms the next forty-eight laps around the village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How were the longer chapters? Do you what them even longer or would that be too long?
> 
> This chapter was kind of a filler but not really as there are some important things happening here. I didn't mention any of the specifics about her training but it will be revealed! I kept it hidden for some dramatic effects! Kinda like how in the anime you don't know why they did that until they did but in story version.
> 
> So yeah.
> 
> Anyhow, I'm once again blown away by the support! 170 kudos with only 2 chapters! I'm crying happy tears.
> 
> Thank you for following the story.
> 
> Love, Lilly.


	4. Mae and Kage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mae (前) - before, previously, earlier
> 
> Kage (影) - shadow, shade, other side

"Yo."

"Your late!" came Naruto's routine response. The blonde waggled his finger at their silver-haired sensei and adorned an (adorable) scowl on his face.

"You see, a black cat crossed my way so I just had to go around..."

Sakura let a small smile play on her lips, finding amusement in her team's victory. She was content to see that despite feeling like the world had tipped on its axis, some things remain unchanged. The rosette kept still on her branch, her back facing the trunk and a wandering eye on everything around her. She'd have to blame Anko for that habit, for the last time the purple-haired woman trained her before she was appointed proctor had left her wary.

(Days spent in a man-eating forest. Scrabbling for something to survive on. Fending off _bigbigbig_ animals.)

"Anyways, the chūnin exams are coming up," he tossed the three gēnin each a scroll, "Sign this and be at the Academy at eight."

Then he was gone.

Sakura looked up once again, but never let her surroundings leave her peripheral. It seemed as if everyone she met slowly wore down her already thin tolerance. She never made an attempt to hone in her patience, often letting her emotions reign free, but that was _before_ and times change. Now she felt just a tiny bit of pride in her victory over her many emotions.

She peered back over to her team which was still gawking (it was hard to tell with Sasuke but he totally was in his own Uchiha way) at the spot where Kakashi had vanished.

Not much had changed in her teammates, both got along far better (which given the fact they still bicker and call each other names was by normal standards not very much) now and Sasuke had a new collection of pinprick tiny scars from the battle In Naruto bridge, but aside from that, they were, for all accounts, the same as when they graduated.

It made her a little sad but at the same time, a little happy her teammates stayed consistent.

_Which means,_ that not-so-little voice crowed, _that despite you changing, despite your drastic change in personality, nothing differed between them._ ** _They don't need you._**

She was rendered frozen because it was true, and the not-so-little voice wasn't a separate entity, it was what she refused to say aloud, the darkness that brewed and stirred in the shadows of her mind. There was another voice there now, in her mind that is. The other voice she called Mae, the not-so-little voice she called Kage.

Before, who was usually so verbal on everything, stayed eerily quiet.

Sakura found herself alone in a clearing, both boys' backs turned to her, and not a word of greeting or farewell between them.

* * *

She dreamt of lemon trees that night. Of fruitless lemon trees and a small hand atop hers, of dreams for the future and whispered promises. 

She shot up in her bed that night, silent tears rolling down her cheeks and the voices in her head quiet. She slipped under her bed and curled up on herself, her imagination running away with itself.

When the sun kissed the sky she rose, snatching the scroll she has signed the night before as she left her house. She had swapped her typical overcoat with a fur-lined jacket in the same color. Sakura intended to use the hood of the jacket to conceal her cotton-candy pink hair. Her hair was the antithesis of camouflage and Sakura found that dyeing her hair was impossible, after several attempts at getting it to a brown color she had thrown her hands in the air and cursed her pink locks. Turns out her hair released a chemical (that was produced due to the mutation that made her hair pink in the first place) that wore away hair dye.

So, without a henge that she frankly didn't have the reserves for, she was stuck with pink hair.

Her teammates arrived on the dot. Sakura watched then walk into their designated meeting spot from a tree, something she'd taken to in recent times. There was when she spotted the copperhead in the fallen leaves that littered the ground from the past autumn. The snake peered up at her, eyes far too knowing for a simple animal.

It bowed its small head and Sakura threw a kunai straight through the snake's skull.

The rosette hopped down the back of the tree, coming around to face her team members.

"Ah, Sakura-chan! Where'd you come from, dattebayo?"

"Behind the tree," Sakura answered sagely, mirth dancing in her jade eyes, "I found a copperhead who called himself a garden snake."

"What'd you do to the snake?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"I told him he wasn't a garden snake, and that he needed to try harder if he wanted to stay hidden in the leaves."

Sasuke looked at her strangely, off-put by his teammate's strange story. This was probably the most the pink-haired kunoichi had talked in his presence since Wave.

"Huh," Naruto blinked, "What a weird snake."

"Indeed."

* * *

The trio was ready to leave the second floor for the third when a crowd of gēnin caught their attention. Two gēnin stood in front of the door, with matching smirks. The forefront of the crowd was another Konohagakure team composed of a Hyūga, a brunette with twin buns, and a boy in green spandex and orange leg warmers; otherwise known as Team Gai.

It was a show. This was so obviously not the third floor, there's no way someone as genius as Neji would be fooled by the basic of basic genjutsu. Better to be underestimated than overestimated.

But Team Gai had the kind of teamwork Team Kakashi didn't, the kind that allowed you to convincingly act dumb. Sasuke and Naruto would show off, flaunt their skills in others' faces, never in a thousand years would they purposely act dumber than they are.

"C'mon," Sakura muttered lowly, tugging her teammates' sleeves, "We have to get going."

Sasuke's onyx orbs stayed trained on the crowd, a smirk crawling up his face when he recognized the opportunity to show his prowess on a large scale. 

Not that it would make him look all that smart, she would suspect half these gēnin were only playing along and would pounce on the chance to berate the Uchiha for his tunnel-vision which obscured the thought that not everyone there was as dumb as a rock and that they were the smarter ones for acting like they were that stupid. Naruto had a lack of perception, it seems, as he seemed to genuinely believe that this was the third floor.

"I can't believe you would fall for such a simple trick," Sasuke's voice cut through the crowd, and Sakura pulled the hood of her jacket over her hair and drifted away from her raven-haired teammate, "This is only the second floor."

A faint murmuring spread through the crowd and several looks were sent the Uchiha's way. Easy prey, they screamed, overconfident.

Gai's team sent them looks, too. A show, it was a fucking show and her moronic bastard of a teammate hasn't enough brains to see it, even with his fancy pinwheel eyes.

Deep breath in, hold, deep breath out, repeat.

Her expression cooled and she stepped in to defuse the pre-exam spar that was about to happen between mini-Gai and the last (Konohagakure-allied) Uchiha.

"Let's not forget that this is an exam, " the rosette said putting a hand on each of the boys' arms. Sasuke flinched back as his head shot up to look at her but Lee only stared up at her curiously, "Wasting our energy in a fight between two friendly shinobi will weaken you and Konoha as a whole." 

Her teammate shrugged her off with a glower whilst Lee exclaimed, "Ah, you're right, Sakura-chan! Thank you for the reminder, yosh!"

"You know this loser?" came Sasuke's rough voice as their team separated from Gai's.

The rosette shrugged, "I train."

Then came the incredulous look because Mae would have never trained and all Sasuke knows is Mae. Sakura says nothing because she hears Mae cry over him at night, and she wants him to believe Sakura is still Mae.

Kakashi met them at the entrance to the third floor, giving his team that a little smile.

"Great. Now that you are all here you can really sign up."

"Whaddya mean, sensei?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of his head once more, "We already signed up, dattebayo."

"The Chūnin exams can only be taken in teams of three," their sensei cheerfully explained, "I was testing to see if all of you would come without letting any of you put any unnecessary pressure on an unsure teammate."

Obviously, unsure teammates would have been her (or more accurately Mae if she was still in charge).

Damn.

"Anyway, now that you all are here you can proceed to the real exam."

And so they did.

* * *

Room 301 was easy to find. It was a large lecture hall for combined classes in the early years of the Academy before a lot of her year-mates dropped out. It would comfortably accommodate up to two hundred people and possibly two-fifty If you really squeezed people together.

Sakura wasn't expecting just how fucking intimidating it would be.

Her hood was still pulled up (thankfully) and so her pink locks were carefully hidden away, but attention still was spaced on them as they entered.

As all Konoha rookies began to bunch together Sakura slowly drifted over to Gai's team.

"Sakura," Tenten greeted.

"Tenten. Neji. Lee."

Lee did a little wave while Neji just grunted in acknowledgment.

"A loud team you have there," the brunette commented, "I could see why you would want to get away from the attention."

"Whether it be an exam or just out and about those two seem to attract all kind of attention - mostly unwanted," the rosette sighed watching as a white-haired teen diplomatically told their group off, "Better to drift away than to get sucked in."

"No fighting in my lecture hall, maggots!" a booming voice called and Sakura looked up to see Ibiki fucking Morino standing by the podium, "Unless you want to be disqualified, that is."

The sound-nin which had started to haggle the group of rookies stopped and backed away.

"Just got a little excited, you know," one Oto-nin said with a sharp smile, "All the tension in the air."

"Then you best restrain yourselves," the man snarled, "Everyone! To your assigned seats so this test can begin!"

Like scared mice, they did as told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lack of motivation cut the chapter short. Sorry for the late update.


	5. MAJOR NOTICE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed my username and photo. I'm the same person, only a little different ;-).

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING:

The way Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder) was not portrayed properly in the previous four chapters. After further research, I've decided to go back and rewrite the previous chapters adding the new information I've collected on Dissociative Identity Disorder and add DID to the list of Sakura's traits as to give her more incentive for the actions she executes and some world-building I want to do.

I was unhappy about how the story was going forward and while I am certainly not removing parts people seemed to like they will be approached in different ways. I may have to remove some parts that wouldn't contextually fit with the story I have planned. If you have strong feelings on parts that especially touched you, please comment as I would hate to remove especially loved aspects. 

If any of you feel you would like to see the original story continue then please tell me. I would consider making it a separate AU story if Sakura had a different upbringing (as that is one of the main plot points that will be changed; her upbringing that is) and made different choices.

I will leave the current chapters up until I have finished revamping the story so a) you have time to reread through the story if desired because it is a possibility that they will not be publically released (I will always have a personal record of them) and b) new readers can come along and make their own decisions. There would be a different love interest and tags in a separate story as I feel the current love interest/tags wouldn't fit.

If you ask why I don't keep continuing this as I do and make another story, I have multiple reasons. One, I have set the tags and love interest for a certain path I feel the original story isn't following. Two, I want the revamped story to be considered the first, and if I were to make another story with the first four chapters the same it would be the AU, not the other way around.

To make commenting easier I will provide you a format of questions I have asked/I would like to be answered if you want:

1) Are there any aspects that you really love from the original that you would like me to keep in the revamped?

2) Would you like the original story to continue in a separate AU book with different tags and love interest?

3) Do you feel I could do certain things that would be better and/or make the process easier?

4) How do you feel about the revamping in general?

5) Is there anything else you would like to address?

⬇

I am sorry for any inconvenience you experience due to these changes.


	6. Discontinued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't @ me.

I am so very sorry but for personal reasons I am discontinuing all my fan fiction on every site. If you want to adopt this book (original or otherwise) please comment. 

I am so, so sorry.


End file.
